OTTAWA COUNTY (WHTC-AM/FM) — Holland police described Tuesday’s murder of a 61-year-old Holland woman as a case of intimate-partner violence. She was allegedly stabbed to death by an ex-boyfriend, and she was, according to accounts of friends, trying to get away from him.
“Abuse is all about power and control,” said Danielle Evans, communications and development director for Center for Women in Transition (CWIT), which serves both Ottawa and Allegan county residents. (Listen to the full interview.)
Evans cannot comment directly or specifically on the Holland woman’s murder, but said there are many myths and incorrect beliefs about intimate-partner violence — sometimes called domestic violence. CWIT provides counseling and shelter services to surviviors of sex assault and interpersonal violence, from adults to children.
One myth is that only women are abused; she said men often are too embarrassed to report being victimized by intimate-partner abuse or violence. CWIT serves male and female abuse survivors.
She said some early markers of abuse can be verbal only — and it can be functional, such as an abuser not allowing a partner to work, or forcing that person to be the family’s sole breadwinner, with the abuser controlling all the money earned.
Many times, an abuser will first isolate a partner, telling the victim their family and friends don’t have the victim’s best interests at heart, or suggesting they are not loved by family and friends. An abuser may even convice a partner to move far away from a support system of family and friends.
“Sometimes just the threat of contacting a family member or friend could increase the lethality,” she said.
Some abusers threaten partners with losing their children, so victims at times will stay in dangerous relationships to protect their children.
That, Evans said, can extend the cycle of violence, because even though the couple may think they are shielding children from the negative dynamics, but “children are a lot more aware of things than we realize,” she said. The harm to children can include cognitive delays, regressive behavior, such as bed wetting or acting out in violent ways on their own. That behavior can disrupt life at home as well as at schools and play spaces.
CWIT offers separate programs for children and adults to help them navigate feelings in a safe way and set boundaries with others.
“The goal of the therapy progarm is to end the cycle of violence,” she said.
CWIT is funded via federal and state grants, but the non-profit relies heavily on donations as well. A fundraiser, the 27th Annual Reach for the Stars dinner, is set for 6 p.m. Wednesday, May 1, at The Pinnacle Center, 3330 Highland Drive in Hudsonville. The evening typically brings in about $100,000. This year’s keynote speaker is DeWitt native Olympic gold medalist in gymnastics, Jordyn Wieber, who has made it her personal mission to raise awareness about sex abuse and assault. She is one of the 500-plus known survivors of disgraced former MSU sports doctor Larry Nassar, now behind bars for a federal conviction.
Tickets cost $125.
Other assistance provided includes helping violence survivors get personal protection orders and filing those at the Grand Haven courthouse. CWIT can also advise a survivor how to safely leave a violent partner.
In 2018, Center for Women in Transition provided:
- 5,603 nights of Emergency Shelter
- 18,778 nights of Supportive Housing to local families
- Response to 2,513 calls to our 24-hour Help Line
- Response to 633 Emergency Walk-Ins
Among CWIT services:
- Crisis Intervention: 24-Hour Help Line, Emergency Shelter, Sexual Assault Forensic Exams, Emergency Walk in Services
- Supportive Services: Case management, supportive housing, legal advocacy, support groups for adults and children, trauma therapy for adults and children
- Prevention & Community Outreach: Girls on the Run, Engaging Men and Boys as Allies, Coaching Boys into Men, LIVERESPECT Coaching Healthy and Respectful Manhood, School violence prevention, and workplace domestic violence prevention trainings.
Other program include classes on developing healthy relationships, helping children heal from trauma, and helping clients put together a few outfits that would be appropriate for job interviews.
Survivors can call the 24/7 hotline, (800) 848-5991, or visit one of three offices:
Holland Program Center and Business Office: Open 9 a.m.-5 p.m., Monday-Friday, evening hours by appointment; 411 Butternut Drive, Holland; (616) 392-2829.
Allegan Satellite Office: Hours may vary. Call ahead for appointment; 151 Brady St., Allegan; (269) 673-2299.
Grand Haven Satellite Office: Hours may vary, please call ahead for appointment. 300 North Ferry St., Suite C, Grand Haven; (616) 392-2829.
