From Hollywood.com Staff

One of the worst things about the summer (yes, there is a downside to months of sunshine, beaching, grilling, and outdoor musical festivals besides getting sand all over everything you've ever owned) is the loss of most of our favorite TV series. We have the pleasure of enjoying some of our favorite shows like Louie and True Blood, but the pain of enduring three straight months of lingering cliffhangers is a great (completely self-inflicted) burden to bear. But let's stay positive. We've enjoyed a lot of great (and questionable) television since the start of the fall season, so it's only fair that we dole out some positive recognition, right? What better way to honor our favorite shows than to make up completely unrealistic awards and figuratively hand them out on the Internet? There is no better way, obviously.

Best Defense Against a Vicious Woof

Winner: Zooey Deschanel on New Girl

Jess' brilliant plan to defend herself and Nick from the desert wolf (or woof, depending on your dialect) during New Girl's season finale was one of the finest moments of the season. Between Jess mimicking the famed cartoon Roadrunner while Nick tried in vain to hold her back (meep MEEP!) and her final victory, shrouded in a fur hood, crawling on all fours, and screeching like a howler monkey, even the most staunch Zooey Deschanel haters had to giggle a bit. —Kelsea Stahler

Best Worst Character Ever

Winner: King Joffrey on Game of Thrones

Who else would be terrible enough to start a blood bath over a starving peasant's aptly aimed cowpie fastball? No one other than Joffrey, that's who. Game of Thrones' sniveling brat king is arguably absolutely the worst human on television. His presence is always insufferable, but we wouldn't give him up for the last three baby dragons known to man. Why? Because how else are we supposed to get such thorough enjoyment out of watching Tyrion slap his nephew every few episodes? —Kelsea Stahler

Most Insufferable Absence of a Shirt

Winner: Adam Driver on Girls

Sunday nights on HBO are a veritable landscape of no shirts. (Apparently, the object of winning Game of Thrones is to have the least amount of clothes possible.) And while Girls' Adam Driver doesn't have a bad physique by any means, his character's constant shirtlessness is simply an uncensored reminder that he's an insufferable guy. Not only can this guy not be bothered to text his conquests back (or at least send his sexts to the right person), but he can't be bothered to put on a shirt? The Douchebag Emperor has no clothes. —Aly Semigran

Best Line of Dialogue to Repeat Excessively

Winner: Tracy Morgan on 30 Rock

Sorry, ""Ham""! You've been replaced. We are fully aware that we, like Tracy Jordan, are going to hell for signing all our future birthday invitations, ""Give To Charity? Please No! PRESENTS!"" —Kate Ward

Best Thawing of an Ice Queen

Winner: Aubrey Plaza on Parks and Recreation

As far as April Ludgate is concerned, April Ludgate hates everybody. But Season 4 of Parks and Recreation proved that the seemingly cold-hearted, unsympathetic young Pawnee citizen cares a lot more for those around her than she lets on. As funny as the traditional stylings of April's apathy have been since the pilot, it was refreshing to see some unexpected growth in one of the show's best characters. —Michael Arbeiter

Next: What award did we give Community? (Because how could we not give them one?)[PAGEBREAK]

Best Return From a Totally Soul-Crushing Hiatus

Winner: Community

When NBC benched the beloved comedy for a few short months, the outcry was heard everywhere a Wi-Fi connection could be found. The Internet was furious. So when March delivered the long-awaited return of the Greendale Seven — complete with pillow and blanket forts and even an entire Ken Burns parody episode —fans not only rejoiced, they cried "Huzzah!" (That's what we say, right?) —Kelsea Stahler

Best Use of a Penguin Costume

Winner: Wilmer Valderrama on Awake

The first (and only) season of Kyle Killen's clever procedural sported almost as many mind-bending moments as the entire run of LOST, but the writer went all out for the show's final episode. Detective Britten's two, split realities collided in a maybe-sorta-kinda dream that could be dissected every which way, but one thing was for certain: Wilmer Valderrama delivered his heaviest dialogue yet while donning a penguin suit. Amazingly, we still don't know what was real and what wasn't. —Matt Patches

Most Gratuitous Use of Vomit in a Half-Hour Comedy

Winner: Two and a Half Men

Lots of sitcoms and big screen comedies fall back on potty humor to liven up their weaker episodes (heck, even Bridesmaids had a scene surrounding extreme flatulence). With the right context, it can work. With no context, it can make the viewer head to the nearest bathroom. Two and Half Men's 17th episode completely overshadows all the season's positives with an entire episode devoted to the ensemble barfing various colored liquids. The half hour was closer to a Gak commercial than a scripted comedy. A new low, even for Men. —Matt Patches

Happiest Ending

Winner: Happy Endings

The show is not over (thankfully), but Season 2 concluded with as much merriment as one could hope for. Hints at Dave and Alex getting back together! Penny dancing with a computer! And, best of all, Max reuniting with his tribute band Mandonna! Never in history has this much joy been jam-packed into a single half-hour of television. —Michael Arbeiter

Best Cast Reunion… on Another Show

Winner: The Scrubs Cast on Cougar Town

Serious fans know that Cougar Town's showrunner (now ex-showrunner) Bill Lawrence used to head the medical sitcom Scrubs. Although the series has been off the air for some time now, it doesn't mean the cast can't occasionally get together and pal around. On the air. On Lawrence's new show. During a Season 3 episode, Zach Braff (J.D.) and Rob Maschio (Todd) made guest appearances on the show, reuniting with former Scrubs-ians: Cougar Town star Christa Miller and Cougar Town recurrers Sarah Chalke, Ken Jenkins, and Sam Lloyd. If only Dr. Beardface could have made it… —Michael Arbeiter

Best Completely Innocent Feud

Winners: Heejun Han and Cowboy Guy (Richie Law), American Idol

Forget catty Jersey girls or misbehaving party boys. Hollywood Week's all-time best feud was Heejun Han vs. Richie Law, the contestant otherwise known as the lamest pop culture cowboy since Capt. James West. Between Han's Jim Halpert-esque eye rolls to the camera and his hilarious confession that he talked ""a lot of craps"" about the grating Law, we were fully in support of Han taking this cowboy away… from our TV screens. -Kate Ward

Best Extremely Overdo Makeout Session

Winner: Nathan Fillion and Stana Katic, Castle

For four seasons, dedicated Castle fans have watched and waited for the incredibly ambitious Kate Beckett to hook up with her insanely lovable partner-in-crime, Richard Castle — and now it's finally happened. This year's finale found our star-crossed lovebirds in a passionate (and mildly water-logged) embrace that would've even made Detective Esposito blush. Surely, some sort of award is in order. Nathan Fillion's sexy smolder is just too irresistible to ignore. —Kelly Schremph

Best Televised Fake Musical About Marilyn Monroe

Winner: Smash

It's become quite common to see popular musicals made into successful screen hits (Les Miserables, Hairspray, Mama Mia — just take your pick). But Smash broke the mold by delivering us a musical masterpiece that didn't even exist before the series did, providing fans with a bevy of Marilyn Monroe songs we now demand to see on Broadway in real life. Between Ivy's ""Let's Be Bad"" and Karen's ""I Never Met a Wolf Who Didn't Love to Howl,"" we let this show be our star, and boy, oh boy, did it deliver. Now let's make this campiness happen on Broadway, people! —Kelly Schremph

What award would you hand out for this past season of television?

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