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Caution: Gatorade Fierce Is Messy

by Nick Vitrano

So, I dont know what to think about this commercial. Here, watch for yourself:

#1 At first glance, I felt an overwhelming urge to vomit, then to call for a doctor, as Bryce Harper is clearly in need of a clotting agent. The dude is bleeding out! Then I saw the pitcher similarly oozing and my next thought was

#2 Man, drinking Gatorade Fierce is really messy. I dont know that my home, my vehicle, my wardrobe, my anything could withstand the unrelenting assault of that much perspiration from every pore. And thats just a volume based analysis. Im not even touching on the stain removal elephant in the room. Nothing works on red liquids like thatnothing!

#3 - Does Gatorade Fierce not work for pitchers? Evidently, Gatorade Fierce is only effective in giving the guys with the lumber an advantage. Apparently if youre a hurler, it causes you to serve up straight meat on a string. If it were my commercial, I would not have featured a discharging pitcher, as well. Seems to me they have alienated that potential customerat least any of that potential customer who is employed by the Marlins.

#4 For a professional endeavor so clouded with PED controversy, an image of one of its stars literally juiced is, at best, poorly conceived.

#5 - At least Axl Rose is able to collect a paycheck for something in 2014. As a huge fan of GNR, Im happy to see that bone tossed his way.