I NEVER LIKED BEER.  I WAS ALWAYS INTRIGUED BY THE GOLDEN BREW AND WATCHED OTHERS SAVOR IT WITH DINNER OR DRINK WHAT SEEMED LIKE AN IMPOSSIBLE AMOUNT UNTIL THEY COULD BARELY MAKE IT TO THE RESTROOM.  I WATCHED THRESHERS DRINK A BOTTLE OF GRAIN BELT BEER BEFORE SITTING DOWN TO ONE OF THOSE FAMOUS MEALS.  WELL, I THOUGHT, MAYBE I SHOULD TRY IT WHEN I WORKED UNTIL THE SWEAT WAS POURING OFF MY BROW.  IT TASTED SOUR, BUT IT WAS VERY COLD AND THAT HELPED TO COOL ME, BUT AFTER HALF A BOTTLE, I WOULD PREFER A COLD SOFT DRINK.  AFTER A COUPLE BOUTS OF KIDNEY STONED, A NURSE TOLD ME, IF I DRANK A BEER EVERY DAY, I WOULD NOT HAVE KIDNEY STONES.  I BOUGHT A SIX PACK AND TRIED, BUT I JUST COULD NOT TAKE IT, EVEN WHEN IT WAS GOOD FOR ME.  

BEER HAS A PRETTY COLOR, AND IT'S OFTEN ASSOCIATED WITH GOOD TIMES. BUT THE ADVERTISING IS BETTER THAN THE PRODUCT.  IF YOU LIKE IT, DRINK IT, BUT IN MODERATION PLEASE.  DON'T TELL THE OFFICER THAT STOPS YOU FOR DUI THAT YOU'VE ONLY HAD TWO BEERS, WHEN YOU'VE BEEN SLOPPING UP THE SUDS MOST OF THE EVENING.  

HOW ABOUT A BIG ORANGE?